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March 10th, 2010 by carlos7856685
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Movie Title: Absolute Beginners
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“I remember that hot fantastic summer, when the teenage miracle reached elephantine bloom, and everyone in England stopped what they were doing to inspect at what had happened.”–opening narration

I also remember the number of times I tuned into MTV for David Bowie’s video, which included clips from that movie. I finally saw it on TV and I was blown away.

Colin is the main character and narrator of this account. It’s the long hot summer of 1958. Rationing was over, and Britain was rebuilt, thanks to the Marshall Plan–now it was time for Britain to have fun with their occupy pop culture explosion. Colin has a lot of colourful friends. There’s Wizard, pickpocket and entrepreneur out for a hastily pound, Frosty, the African trumpet player, the flamboyant Wonderful Hotlife, described as “our bear Oscar Wilde,” Dean Swift, “a original jazz creation,” and Mountainous Jill, a hefty but estimable lesbian. And yes, there’s the savory Suzette, Colin’s worship interest, whose wanting to perform it to the fashion big-time causes a rift between them.

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Suzette does get it astronomical, attracting the attention of her boss, Henley of Mayfair (James Fox) . She comes onstage in a mettlesome glittering murky mini, and does the hot jazz number “Va Va Voom” with some African dancers.

Colin spends time taking snaps at the neon glitter and sights of the London nightlife, but doesn’t want to go mainstream. “It’s not that I’ve got anything against money. It’s fair what you have to do to regain it.” He eventually does pictures for Harry Charms (Lionel Blair), an oily talent searcher and agent with a penchant for young boys. It’s actually gratifying when his protege Baby Notify shoves a microphone beefy force in his contented sacks. And I don’t know if anyone noticed, but early in the movie, BB’s the schoolboy who ends up picking up Charms’ card that Colin throws away. It took me a while to finally realize.

Kinks frontman Ray Davies plays Colin’s father, a man who lives with his “pre-war photo albums and shaded memories.” Colin’s half-brother Vern is a disgusting, barely human cretin. And his mother (Mandy Rice-Davies of Christine Keeler fame), disillusioned with life, has affairs with the numerous lodgers. The cutaway tenement for the “Collected Life” number is a shining touch, as is the chaos going on in there.

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David Bowie has only a miniature role as Vendice Partners, that seller of dreams, but his musical number “That’s Motivation,” where he successfully tempts Colin into selling out has a wowser of a residence including giant typewriters, a globes with an airplane attached at the equator, an Everest mockup marketing frozen vegetables, and a floor painted to scrutinize like a giant 78 describe.

Speaking of musicians, Sade doesn’t observe out of set singing “Killer Blow.” She’s simply stunning!

Patsy Kensit is so worthy more attractive here than she ever was before she went on to Lethal Weapon 2 and Angels And Insects. Eve Ferrett is fabulous as the bubbly Vast Jill.

Notable cameos include Steven Berkoff (Clockwork Orange, Beverly Hills Cop) as a Neo-Nazi fanatic presumably modelled after Enoch Powell, Colin Jeavons (House of Cards) as the fanatic’s pamphleteer, Julian Firth (Brother Jerome in the Cadfael series) is the Misery Kid, dressed in the skeleton suit, and Robbie Coltrane (Krull, Harry Potter) as Mario the store owner.

The hot swing jazz sets the fling of the movie, replicating a crop of England sadly long gone. A precise blast of a movie.

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When you spy the opening sequence from ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS, the first understanding that might reach to your mind is that it’s shot a lot like Janet Jackson’s “When I Contemplate of You” video. There is a reason for that — they were both directed by Julien Temple. His background as one of the top music video directors comes to sterling exercise here. All of the musical sequences are superbly staged and choreographed. As an added help, you derive a rare chance to gaze both Sade and R&B pioneer Slim Gaillard fabricate in a motion characterize. Sade is absolutely handsome as she sings “Killer Blow,” a song which she also co-wrote. The soundtrack is filled with other enormous songs including Slim Gaillard’s “Selling Out,” “Having it All” (performed by Patsy Kensit), “That’s Motivation” and the title gash. The latter two songs were performed by David Bowie. In terms of region, the makers of the film took a broad chance by going beyond the basic boy-meets-girl fable found in most classic musicals. The romance is detached there, but it also attempts to deal with some serious social issues, including the gentrification of a community. For the most fraction the film succeeds in its somewhat lofty ambitions. Overall, the cast gives credible, if somewhat big performances, but this is to be expected within the musical genre. An initial hurdle for American audiences will be to decipher the thick British accents. However, with the second viewing that shouldn’t be a plight, particularly given the fact that this release comes closed captioned. Thank God for closed captioning! I previously purchased the earlier, non-captioned version, but because the film has been so well-liked with my friends, I had no choice, but to assume a second copy. You know how it is when you loan things, sometimes it takes a l-o-n-g time to gain things assist — especially with a movie as keen as this one. Rather than preserve waiting, I simply purchased another copy (now with closed captioning) and I’m so pleased I did. If you’re looking for a musical with something on it’s mind, you need to gawk no further. You will also be hard pressed to acquire a musical as visually fair as this one with mountainous music to match. This all for objective a bit more than the tag of a movie mark. In short, ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS is an absolute must observe.
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March 7th, 2010 by carlos7856685
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Movie Title: Attack Girls’ Swim Team vs. the Undead
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Ok, every now and then we see a movie so outrageously silly, so sleazy, full of exploitive scenes and so trashy that you wonder as to why you would waste your time watching it and how you managed to sit through the whole thing. I saw “The Girls REBEL FORCE of Competitive Swimmers” (aka. Joshikyoei hanrangun, Attack Girls’ Swim Team vs. The Undead) earlier this year, and honestly, I feel so guilty that I managed to sit through the film. Well, I have a weakness for zombies and I have to prove that I am no snob. Hey, The film does feature hot Japanese girls in swimsuits and they’re often seen in their birthday suits.

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Aki (Sasa Handa) is a student with a troubled past. She was kept prisoner and abused by an enigmatic professor and trained to be an assassin. She had just transferred to a school at the worst possible time. There’s a mysterious virus in the school and students and teachers are being rounded up to receive a vaccine to counter the virus. However, the very same vaccine supposed to protect them from infection is actually a drug that turns everyone to flesh-eating zombies. Luckily, Aki skipped on the vaccine, and the swim team is immune to the virus because of the chemicals present in the school’s swimming pool–chlorine. Aki finds out that the man responsible for the injections is the same man who sexually abused and kept her prisoner.

I was expecting a film much like “Wild Zero”, “Sars Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis”, and “Meatball Machine” when I put the DVD in the player. The film is pretty bad, but I have to admit I couldn’t help snickering and giggling while I was watching it. The film is somewhat entertaining in a “guilty” type of way (or maybe I have bad taste?). The film really seemed like director Koji Kawano and the rest of the film crew were writing the film as they went along and drinking a lot of sake while shooting it. The fight scenes are laughable, the “special effects” are a far cry from being “special”, the plot is so silly and it is so dumb that the script doesn’t make sense at all.

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So why the heck did I waste my time watching it??

The film does find some originality when it comes to sheer campiness. A swim team that takes on zombies sure is original. The girls aren’t as hot as those in “OneChanbara” but they are quite sexy in their own way. It’s a wonder that they had to change to swimsuits before they go into battle. There’s an abundance of female nudity and softcore sex scenes–there’s even girl-on-girl action. There is blood and gore when a teacher uses a ruler to chop off limbs and heads. There is a zombie lunch buffet. I will tell you the film’s most outrageous scene: a laser beam is shot from the lead actress’s crotch area!! The actresses knew what exactly they signed up for in this film–count on the Japanese to make a film that counts on pure exploitation, panty shots, sex scenes and a lot of female nudity to put audiences in the seats.

The film does not make any bit of sense and to be honest, I feel quite hypocritical if I said I didn’t enjoy trashy films–but I really don’t. But how come I know this film is indeed bad but never for a moment did I feel bored in its entirety? The film’s sex scenes are unarrousing but I have a hard time telling the difference between erotic and dull–because the film doesn`t make any sense. The rape scene feels forced and the acting is really bad. I have to say that the low-budget blood and gore is appealing. Plus, nothing is as outrageous as a “crotch laser beam”. “Attack Girls` Swim Team vs. the Undead” is DEFINITELY NOT for everyone. If any of my descriptions sound appealing to you, then go ahead and give the movie a spin–just don’t say I didn’t warn you. The film is a hoot!

Rent it! But recommended to fans of Japanese trashy exploitation and wacky films. [2 ½ Stars]

I own the region-3 Hong Kong release. Can someone tell me why I bought this??

Attack Girls Swim Team vs. the Undead (Koji Kawano, 2007)

Okay, let’s start off by saying that if you’re the kind of person who sees a title like Attack Girls Swim Team vs. the Undead and does not immediately think “THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER”, you’re probably in the wrong place. Because that’s exactly what I thought when I saw the title of this movie, and, well, I’m the guy who’s writing the review. If we’re coming from entirely different mindsets… you know. And while the movie doesn’t live up to the promise of the title, it’s certainly good for a romp.

Aki (Sasa Handa) is the new girl at school. Keeps to herself, quiet, that sort of thing. One day, Sayaka (Yuria Hidaka), seeing her at the side of the pool and mistaking her for someone else, pushes her in as a prank. The two of them become fast friends after that, but this is no simple friendship drama. Because, after all, there must be an evil mastermind experimenting on the school (where else but in Japan?), administering a “vaccine” for a cold that’s going around. But, yeah, vaccine? It makes zombies of everyone but Aki and the girls’ swim team, who must find a cure.

No, it’s not a great movie, and most of the time it’s not even a good movie. But on the Joe Bob Briggs blood, breasts, and beasts scale, it gets top marks in all three categories (including one scene between Handa and Hidaka that wouldn’t be out of place in an Emmanuelle flick), and it adds a continual element of just plan weird, in that style the Japanese do so well. The climax of the movie is just jaw-dropping. I mean, really, off-the-scale, [censored for Amazon consumption] nuts. And hysterically funny, if that kind of humor works for you.

So, yeah, not a good movie, but it’s the kind of bad movie that transcends its badness and becomes something great. This is one you owe it to yourself to watch. ****

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